http://chibistahn.wordpress.com/2008/12/23/birthday-girl/

I would just score them between 1-10… Now, on with this review. I won’t write so much since I got a meeting with Tomoya later~

Tomoya~~~ <3

… you did not see that.

~~><~~

Luke fon Fabre, -900/10

Ah yes, one of my main slaves, sir Luke. He has a brother named Asch… and he’s as useless as his brother… well, ten times useless. He skips work sometimes and goes out with my Tomoya. His score would be lower but he is good in cleaning the toilets… and that’s all. He’s also useless in making my breakfast, lunch and dinner, as they are always incomplete.

How can you eat a cereal without milk?

How can you eat bread without toasting?

How can you eat meat when it’s raw?

How can you eat vegetables if they are not cooked?!?!

…… I have much more to complain about him, but I shall not waste my time on him.

Torrid Zelestor, -700/10

It was supposed to be the same score with Luke, but my little Ushie asked me to give a higher score. Oh well.

Anyways, that stupid and lazy apple head… ‘husband’ of mine does nothing but read the newspaper and his books, drinking and making grape wine and grape juice. He almost always never helps around in the castle, and he always refuses to be tortured, and use that… that… THINGY on me.

THAT STUPID THINGY AND THUNDER COMBO USER!!! >>

… not to mention his lame ./ridicule.

Stupid apple head, why am I married to you in the first place.

Rionell Hotaru, -850/10

Rionell Hotaru…

… You spoony bard. >>

I have told you not to run to me and hug me, and yet you still do. IS IT SO HARD TO FOLLOW SUCH A SIMPLE COMMAND? Everywhere I go, you would hug me. When I step out at the castle, when I am eating, when I am trying to have my thoughts cleared, when I am showering, and even when I am sleeping. Even after many GCs, you would still dare to try to hug me.

Although I have to admit, his cooking isn’t so bad though.

Alexanderr De Witt, -700/10

Annoying little brat. >_> Didn’t know him well, and he is still annoying. He whines, he’s kiddy, he’s lazy! AND HE’S…… ANNOYING.

Tell him to put his falcon somewhere else. >_>

 Ervalis Lovett, -700/10

At least he’s a good advisor, I give him that… but other than that, his act of being cute puts a stain to my evil castle. =_=; IT’S A DISGRACE TO MY EVILNESS

… For that alone he gets a low score. =o=

I’ll write more soon… whenever I feel like it.

…… Knowing this is actually just some prank.

And it’s pathetic, in my opinion.

Basically, you have to smash a crystal somewhere inside a castle, and the castle is yours, because…… I have no idea. Maybe because the owners of the castles ran away crying after smashing their precious crystal. >>

But that’s not what I’m trying to say. I had my first real war a few weeks ago.

It went horrible. Even more horrible than that rotten apple pea head Torrid… or so as they say, “My husband”. He does nothing in the house but drinking his tea and his “./ridicule”. And it was HIS fault that the furniture was broken!… But it’s okay, that replica is getting new dishes.

… Forget about that.

So I don’t know what happened, but apparently, that @#$% bard Rionell requested for my help for the War. Apparently we were teamed up with this one guild called… Sushi Light… something. Whatever that name is. The guild leader’s name was an Assassin, just like Asch, that brother of a dreck. But… this guild leader person’s name is Sushi, and his head is like a Sushi too.

… Why the heck am I even in this war anyway? Hugo advised me not to go, but I still went. What’s wrong with me that day……

Anyways, That Sushi person was telling us what to do… Including me. I was the one who was supposed to give orders, not him. I’m the Dark Lord, the Slave Queen! And he’s… some Sushi Assassin guy. So, we went to some base in Aldebaran, and started fighting for it. Of course, I wanted to summon my army of Spartans, Leaf cats, Dark Dangos… Even Sunohara-kun works, but oh no, they disapproved. Stupid people. Of course, I Grand Crossed them and started going to the castle anyway.

… Strangely the people at the Sushi Light Guild reminds me of Dangos. I don’t know why, makes me want to sing the Dango song again……

Dango~ Dango~ Dango~ Dango~ Dango Daikazoku~

… Back to the topic.

The castle inside was like any other war. I was supposed to… Defend the castle? What? Stupid people, they should lead me to the offense. One me could kill hundreds of others, except when they have the (cheap) Frost Driver or the (extremely cheap) Asura Strike. Stupid skills are the only thing which can kill me. Anyways, that Sushi guild finally got the castle, and… I had to ask that Ghei Bard Rionell.

“Can you put a drawbridge?”

“No. ^o^”

“… Acid water?”

“No~”

“Heck, even cannons would do.”

“WE ONLY NEED YOU <333333″

“Yes I know bu-”

“NAGISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

… Okay, so he wasn’t much help. So I asked that… Sushi person.

“… What are you doing?”

“My wasabi… My fish!!! MY ENCHANT FISHY WASABI! IT’S GONE! >O<!!!!”

“Isn’t it Enchant Deadly Pois-”

“YOU DO NOT KNOW THE POWER OF THE FISH WASABI! GET BACK TO DEFENDING!”

“… I was supposed to be the one giving orders. >>”

… But I let him win anyway.

So, after some time, we started to defend, and in the end, we got a castle. I started sheding people with bloodshed, that ghei bard start playing songs which makes people deaf (including mine), and those Sushi light guild… they threw Sushi on people’s faces. And we got a castle.

“We did it!~”

“Good, Sushi boy, hand over the treasure.”

“Well… You get that treasure box over there. *points*”

“……”

… Inside was a Jellopy.

I hate you all.

So I ended up bombing the whole castle and it fell into ruins. SP and that Sushi kingdom got buried by the rocks, and I dominated Rune Midgard.

The end.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hugo Edit: That wasn’t really what happened actually… ^^; Miss Nagisa just went back to the castle… She got really angry and told the Replica, Luke Fabre, to wash the drains five times already, and she keeps hugging her Tomoya plushie…

… I don’t know, personally I think Miss Nagisa needs help… o_o; If you know how to help her, please call this number: 1300-OMG-I-WANT-TO-BE-SLAVED-BY-NAGISA-FOREVER.

Thank you.

THAT STUPID FROST DRIVER FREAK! He doesn’t even deserve to live! What am I saying to him!?

23/3.

Dear Diary, it is me. Nagisa. Currently, I’m back from the Prontera church. It’s a long story short, but lately, I have heard news about an Aco named as the same as I, Nagisa Furukawa. Apparently she is from another dimension, as we call it, so I took some opportunity to investigate to this matter.

A week later (With Asch constantly whining, especially my poring everytime I mention that dimwit Luke), I finally found that Aco. She’s heading towards Prontera with her SP friends, which are… at least to say, my enemies, especially that stupid Torrid fellow.

…… Now, I found her, and she looks exactly like me, so I kidnapped her, with Asch. We learned that she is a skilled Acolyte, which is job level 50, according to Rune Midgard… game system???

Asch: That’s what the book says!

… You idiot, you think this is some GAME?

Asch: Well… Yes…

… Whatever. Anyways, I asked Asch to knock her unconscious, and so she did. I exchanged my clothes with hers, and I took the role of the other Nagisa Furukawa who claims to be me. Wearing the Aco uniform she had, I walked towards the church, in hopes of failing her.

… Forever. Yes, that would be wonderful to her.

~*~
~*Prontera Church*~

Father: So! You want to be a Priest?

Nagisa: Uhh… Yeah… =_=;

Father: You don’t seem so convinced.

Nagisa: Whatever. I’m here to fail the test.

Father: You still have to take the test! Do you still want to be stuck as a baby Aco!?

Nagisa: I like the Aco uniform better than the Priest outfit….

Father: Hush, child! You shall be a grown lady instead of a little puny aco!

Nagisa: … Wow, that’s… nice…

Rionell: Good luck, Nagisa!

Luke: We’ll be rooting for you!

Deitrich: … Right.

Nagisa: … I swear I’ll fail, seriously.

Rionell: No you won’t! Now get out there!

Nagisa: … Fine

Father: Are you ready?!?!?!

Nagisa: … Sure.

Father: And AWAY WE GO! *warps*

Nagisa: … WTF?! *warped*

Rionell: … *sniff* There goes a brave soul…

Luke: I’ll miss her…

Deitrich: …… So what now?

Rionell: GHEI!

Luke: TOMOYA!

Deitrich: … I stand by my case.

~*PRIEST TEST*~

Father: *somehow talking without being seen* Alright, Aco Nagisa! Since you are Job level 50, you don’t have to do the ghei test, where you remove a boy’s clothes and… *ahem* But now, your first task is to… KILL THESE ZOMBIES!

Zombie: Yo, my name is Jealousy.

Zombie: Hey, my name is Anger.

Zombie: Rar, my name is Greed!

Nagisa: *takes mace* DIE, YOU WORM-

Father: No, Acolyte Nagisa! You must HEAL!

Nagisa: Heal?…… Oh, I did Heal when I was a Crusader… =.=

Father: Did you say something?

Nagisa: No, nothing, old man…

Father: !!!!!!!

Nagisa: …… Uhh, father. Alright! Die, you worms!

And so I healed them. Greed, Anger, the Zombies, whatever. According to my knowledge as a Crusader, to heal someone, you fart from your back and give the person you wanted to heal the gas. Soon, you’ll be refreshed! Of course, I never healed myself, since the process was so weird. I use Potions instead.

… Although Asch says it’s wrong. Meh, what does he know.

Father: Congratulations! You (somehow) Won! Now, on to the next test!

Nagisa: … wait, I was supposed to FAIL! Alright, I’ll fail the next test!

~*The next test*~

Father: Alright! Here, you must endure! GO, YOUNG ACO!

Nagisa: … Seems easy enough…… *walks*

Doppleganger: HALT!

Nagisa: WHAT THE… Doppleganger?! WHAT TWISTED TEST IS THIS?!?!!?

Doppleganger: Hey, hey. You shouldn’t be a Priest. You should be a swordsman!

Nagisa: … Actually, I’m already am.

Doppleganger: You liar. You are an Aco.

Nagisa: *GRAND CROSS!*

Doppleganger: Stop giving me those kind of… AAAHHHH!

*POOF!*

Nagisa: ……… That’s it?

Dark Lord: HEI

Nagisa: O___O DARK LORD?!?!?!?

Dark Lord: YA TIS ME

Nagisa: WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Dark Lord: DUNO I IS PADI 2 DO DIS

Nagisa: … I thought you hated the holy.

Dark Lord: YA BUT DEY GIF ME 10 Z FR DIS

Nagisa: … JUST… 10… Z?

Dark Lord: YA

Father: Stop talking and shoo the demon away!

Dark Lord: HEI NO MANERZ >=(

Nagisa: Fine fine… Look, I have to beat you.

Dark Lord: WAT SRSLY?!

Nagisa: Yes… Umm… HADOUKEN!

Dark Lord: D: HOW DAER U! SHORYUKEN!

Nagisa: SHINKU… HADOUKEN!

Dark Lord: WAAAAAHHHHHH U MESSED MAH FAEC. MEANIE. *CRIES AND RUNS OFF*

Nagisa: … o_o;

Father: EXCELLENT WORK, NAGISA!

Nagisa: … You mean I didn’t fail?

Father: Well, no. You did chase the demons away.

Nagisa: … *sigh* Fine. Bring on the next. Stupid. Test.

Father: Okay! Next stupid test, AWAY!

~*NEXT STUPID TEST*~

Father: Get to the other side, Nagisa!

Nagisa: Gah. I’m sure there’s more to a challenge than that!

Mummies: GRRRRR *POPS OUT FROM THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE*

Nagisa: I knew it! You have to kill these mummies on the way!… But I won’t, and I will FAIL! *rushes all the way to the other side.

Mummies: Uwuuuuhhhhh… *chases*

~*And so, Nagisa was back outside… at the church*~

Nagisa: I’m back! And I FAIL!

Father: NO YOU GOT A 100%! 8DDDD

Nagisa: … WHAT?

Father: YEAH. YOU WERE’T SUPPOSED TO KILL THE MUMMIES.

Nagisa: ………

Father: I don’t know why either, okay?

Nagisa: … Whatever. Are there anymore tests?

Father: Just the last one! The quiz! Speak to Sister Cecille!

Nagisa: … Right… *looks at the back of her*

Rionell: *reading ghei manga*

Luke: *playing with Tomoya plushie*

Deitrich: *playing Nintendo DS*

Nagisa: … Guys, I’m here to fail the test.

Rionell: I heard you got a 100 for the test! Congratulations!

Nagisa: That wasn’t meant on purpose!

Luke: Nagisa, whatever it is, you’re soon going to be a priest!

Sister Cecille: … I heard she wants to be a priest?

Nagisa: … Yes.

Sister Cecille: Good. You must do this quiz. Let us begin.

Nagisa: ……

Sister Cecille: Question one, are you ghei?

Nagisa: Yes.

Sister Cecille: Two, will you die for ghei?

Nagisa: Yes.

Sister Cecille: Three, do you like eggs.

Nagisa: No.

Sister Cecille: Do you like God.

Nagisa: No.

Sister Cecille: And lastly, five, will you ghei with anyone?

Nagisa: Yes.

Sister Cecille: ………

Nagisa: … >D

Sister Cecille: … Congratulations! 100 points!

Nagisa: W-WHAT?!?!?!

Sister Cecille: You’re now a PRIEST!

Rionell: Congratulations!

Luke: I knew you could do it, sister!

Deitrich: Hah… Very impressive.

Nagisa: No… NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sister Cecille: AND HERE’S YOUR REWARD! *GIVES GHEI PORN*

… And that’s what happened. I got my new Priest uniform, and I got sick and tired, and gave the uniform back to the other Nagisa, and wore back my old Crusader uniform.

… I swear… the entire Rune Midgard is nothing but freaks.

1) Become a PVP Queen. (Defeating that stupid chicken Torrid, for one.)

2) Get slaves.

3) Destroy that… SP place. Heard it was managed by some ghei bard.

4) Marry darling Tomoya so that he will be my king and my servant.

I might have more, but I will leave that first.

… Well, not yet, until I actually defeat a few people so I can actually become queen.

That is all you need to know about me. I will be your new queen.

…… Now one of you clean my toilet… Let’s say… Luke. Go.